World War Z (film)

We watched World War Z last night and although it wasn't the best quality (it was a copy) I really enjoyed the film. It throws you straight into the action with the Lane family sitting in a seemingly innocent traffic jam when suddenly an explosion up ahead starts to pique Gerry Lane's interest/concern.  The main character, Gerry Lane (played superbly by Brad Pitt) is former CIA, realises something just isn't right and when a dustbin lorry plows through the traffic creating a pathway enabling them to escape he takes the opportunity and follows the truck as far as he can. They're then forced to abandon the car but not before Gerry witnesses a crazed man bite the driver of another car, a soundtrack of a child counting is played in the background and you realise this 'disease' takes hold in around 8 seconds.  I won't spoil the rest of the film for you and if you can ignore some of the more obvious plot holes (for example just why isn't there any security on top of the wall in Jerusalem?) then this is a great film.  It doesn't have an hour of build up leading to the inevitable escape from the city, in fact the Lane family escape from the city within the first 15 minutes, it takes you all over the world from the US, to Israel via Korea, then to Wales of all places. There are some amazing CGI pieces in this but whilst not a particularly scary film in itself one of the scarier parts is the speed that the zombies can move, having been brought up with Romero's shuffling zombie style to see these move that fast is more than slightly unnerving.  At least in Romero's films you could outrun and outsmart the zombies, however ever since Danny Boyle's film 28 Days Later the newer generation of zombies seem faster and smarter.

This review concerns the film version of World War Z rather than the book on which it's based, although I do hope to do a review of the book as well as it is apparently very different. Look out for that review soon!

Another shiny!

Wow its been a while since I updated my blog, so apologies for that, but on the bright side look what I got:

I'm really happy that I finally got this award as its been ages since my last one and I was beginning to lose all hope in getting these last few lbs lost to get the 3 and a half stone award! I did it with style too, I lost 3.5lbs this week which means I've actually lost 3 stone 7 and a half lbs in total so only 6 and a half lbs till my next award! Woohoo!

I've also been trying to work hard on my exercise regime as well this week, well for the next few weeks actually but I'll try one week at a time. Its been hard what with starting a new job and getting used to the new schedules plus the meetings I now have to go to as a parent governor, it can get tricky to fit everything in so my pledge is just do a little extra each day but on at least one day walk at least 5km or 3 miles in one go. Of course it doesn't help that the UK is currently undergoing a huge heatwave set to last at least another week, good for getting a suntan and having a BBQ but not so good for exercising! 

13.1miles my sore and aching ass!!

Yep, we did it! This is my friend Lesley and I having completed the Free Radio's Walk for kids on Sunday 2nd June 2013. It was supposed to be a 13.1 mile walk but according to my pedometer I walked just over 17.5miles before I got home and we suspect at least 17 miles of that was on the actual route! I have to say I'm thoroughly thrilled I managed to make it all the way to the end, there was one point where I thought I was going to pass out and had to sit with my head between my legs for several minutes and Lesley admitted to me later on she would have had no idea what to do as both of our phones had run out of battery by that point! (Note to self, need to buy emergency charger doodad if I ever consider a long event again!) But I didn't pass out or throw up and we made it to the end. The picture above is the official one taken by the photographer and as you can see there's not too many people left around by this stage as we did take quite a long time to do it, but at the end of the day we did it so I don't care! 

On an even better note - went to Slimming World last night, finally got given my 3 stone award which I achieved a few weeks ago and lost 4.5lbs! Hoping thats me back on the right track to losing weight now

Success Express

As I mentioned in my previous blog post I need to make some changes and even though its the week of the big half marathon I have decided to make the changes to my diet this week. As you know I'm following Slimming World which is in essence a healthy eating plan, encouraging lots of fresh fruit and vegetables whilst still getting in carbs, protein, fats and sugars as everyone should on a healthy, balanced diet. Well this is another section that they offer which is called Success Express, it still follows the same principles but encourages even more fruit and veg in your diet but suggesting that for every meal you make sure that 2/3 of your plate is filled with superfree foods (ie fruit and veg) whilst the other 1/3 is filled with free foods (things like pasta, meat, potatoes etc), if you need to snack between meals you should eat fruit or vegetables and there is an increase in the number of Healthy Extra A choices (ie your dairy products) and your Healthy Extra B choices (ie your fibre choices) Then you must remember to have your syns, between 5 and 15, a day - these are your 'naughty' things like sugars etc.

I'm coping well so far although I'm only on day 2 but having plenty of veg for my dinners, snacking on loads more fruit than I'd normally eat (I'm not a big fruit eater) so I'm hoping to really boost my weight loss this week as I've been really disheartened with the gains and losses and feel like I've really hit a wall. Its great to have a friend doing it with me too, one of the other members from my group is giving it a go and we've really been encouraging each other and keeping each other motivated which is a good thing for me to have. 

On a different note, work's been interesting, a lot different to what I'm used to, the customers are a lot nicer, the staff are so friendly and easy going and I don't have a million processes to learn and remember as I did in my previous role so its all good.

Changes

As I've gained weight yet again this week I obviously need to make some changes in my life, whether its the diet, the exercise or something else but first I've decided I want to acknowledge what has already changed since I started this journey on Jan 7th 2013.

• weight: 357.5lbs in Jan, 317lbs in May
• signed up for half marathon 
• can walk further than ever before 
• no longer need asthma inhaler for day to day activities
• can run up the stairs without getting out of breath
• can feel my waist!
• can feel muscles starting to develop in my legs particularly 

Things that I need to change:

• my diet - need to speak to my consultant about that
• my exercise regime - I have been concentrating too much on walking and not changing things up enough.
• my work/life balance - I need to work out when I'm working, when I'm working out and when I have time to spend time with the people I love 
• my head - I need to work out why I am so negative about things? why can't I accept things are changing for the better? why do I feel like I want to sabotage things all the time?

I have no idea how I'm going to do the last one but the rest should be fairly easy to sort out, they might not be easy to implement but as I'll be asking for people's help and advice (my weight loss consultant and my personal trainer) I hope I can get these in place fairly quickly. Of course I do have a big achievement this week - I will be completely my first half marathon at the weekend which I'm absolutely petrified about but hopefully with the support of the others doing the race I can dig in deep and get it finished even if I'm the last one on the course I WILL finish it!

They think it's all over......

And this time next week it will be! Yep, this time next week I *should* have completed my first ever half marathon which is quite a scary thought.  Did my last training walk yesterday consisting of a 6 mile hike around the reservoir where I broke in my new walking shoes and socks. I was a bit wary of the shoes as they aren't as bouncy as the trainers I'm used to but once you get used to them they're pretty decent considering they were only £20. Also on a recommendation of a friend I bought some 1000 mile socks which are dual layer, taking the moisture away from the feet and preventing blisters and they seemed to do just that yesterday which was fantastic considering the size of the blisters I had last week.

Also went to the gym on Thursday,  I think the women there were firstly shocked that I went back, secondly that I'm as fit as I am (which isn't that fit but certainly a hell of a lot fitter than I was 3 stone ago!) thirdly that I joined in the Zumba class and then most definitely that I did the whole class!  I had several of them come up to me during the class say they were surprised to still see me there,  but I tell you what I loved every blooming minute of it! I had no idea what I was doing in the Zumba class but it seemed to involve a lot of shaking your ass and was so much fun but I did come out of there sweating like a pig, although I suppose that is the general idea! I can't wait to get back there again next week to shake my tushie.

Loving yourself?

This is a post that's been hard for me to write which is why I've been quiet for a couple of weeks. Now I don't want you to think I'm after sympathy or attention or something like that, trust me I'm not, I'm simply after some help and advice. I was going to put this on my Facebook page but it kind of got away with itself and ended up being just too large so I put it here instead. 

I spend a lot of my time reading dieting websites, fitness websites and general health and wellbeing websites and most of them tend to all agree on one thing, you need to love yourself as you are before you can change yourself. If you don't love yourself just the way you are firstly how can anyone else love you and secondly if you don't love yourself as you are it could be a very long time before you ever do love yourself (if in fact you ever do!) 

I also have a lot of friends I've made whilst doing my page who all seem very at ease with themselves, very happy in their own skin, not bothered about how long things will take to change, they just go with the flow and get on with it. I can't, I'm not like that, I need results yesterday, I need to see things happen almost instantaneously, I'm very ill at ease with myself and lastly and I guess most importantly I do not love myself - how can I? I hate the way I look, I hate the way I feel, I can't look in a mirror without cringing, I hate having my photo taken, which by the way is why there are so few photos of me out there and that scares me! If I was to leave this world tomorrow there would be so few lasting images of me out there its just scary.

So my question is this - how do you learn to love yourself? Is it to do with weight or will I always feel like this even if I'm super duper skinny and super duper fit? Is it a self confidence issue? Was it because I was bullied endlessly at school? Am I just a whinger and a moaner??? These are genuine questions and I'm not after 'oh but you look so nice' or 'you've done so well' just because you think it might make me feel better - I'm not trawling for compliments (although lets be honest, they are kinda nice!) This is a genuine topic I need to get my head round. Also when I sabotage myself is it because I'm scared of what's happening? Of what might happen if I lose loads of weight, have I hidden behind my weight for so long and used it as an excuse for so long that I deliberately sabotage my weight loss so I don't have to face it??

How did you learn to love yourself? Have you always loved yourself? I really would love some feedback on this either on here or on my facebook page